Hello. It’s been awhile.
It’s turn into fairly clear to many who I’ve let this area of mine slide additional and additional off of my radar for the previous year-and-a-half or so. I didn’t wish to admit it– to not myself, to not my followers, to not anybody; nevertheless it’s time to face actuality. I’ve let this weblog slowly gather the occasional feedback and site visitors with out checking in practically as a lot as I ought to. The identical could be stated for my general exercise within the running a blog world– as soon as an aspiring journey / life-style blogger myself, I discover myself missing an increasing number of contributions in feedback, shares, and engagement with different bloggers.
I didn’t wish to turn into that blogger- the one with such excessive and good intentions of beginning one more expat weblog a couple of twenty-something gal who moved to France, however then stop about six months in. I began this weblog over ten years in the past– and whereas it’s undergone identify modifications and rebranding and deletions and additions, it’s fairly cool to have one thing to point out for on a regular basis I’ve wasted labored on the web all these years (regardless of it giving a direct channel of my previous and present musings to oldsters and college students), in addition to tremendous embarrassing to see my ever-evolving nativity on show.
I’ve by no means written for cash (though I do get frequent proposals). I wrote for pleasure; I wrote to have a goal– to offer data– to present myself the voice I believed I lacked in my teenagers and early twenties– I wrote for readability– for closure. However I’ve needed to come to the stark realization that I’m undecided if I wish to do it anymore.
I’ve burned out. After I began writing 3-4 instances per week in 2013, I used to be 23/24. France was new and thrilling and I had so many issues to say. Running a blog didn’t really feel like a chore however one thing I beloved to do– telling tales and recounting my experiences and even generally searching for validation and looking for different individuals who may relate to me, too.
However then France turned my regular– what I as soon as noticed as new and thrilling and totally different had turn into my on a regular basis (I understand how gross and privileged that sounds). I went by a tough transitional interval in the summertime of 2016 after I was making an attempt to determine if France was value pursuing and if I needed to stay- and I noticed that the web is a very unforgivable place for a girl with an unpopular opinion on the web.
After which, upon getting a full-time job and kick-starting my profession in 2016, I noticed I didn’t wish to use my free time in the identical manner anymore. Because the finish of 2017 particularly, I’ve invested numerous time in self-care and growing my very own private definition of well-being. I began seeing a therapist. I moved out of my house-share and into my very own one-bedroom residence. I began nesting and adorning and lighting candles, creating an area that feels safer and extra like me. I turned a vegetarian, and made it a aim to eat extra seasonally and domestically. I’ve begun studying about methods to cut back my carbon footprint and waste, eliminating plastic. I re-integrated train into my each day routines and joined a health club; I began studying methods to say, “No” and methods to be extra snug with myself. I sleep extra. I spend extra time alone. I’ve taken a tough, lengthy have a look at my friendships, what they imply, and which of them are nonetheless value pursuing / holding round. I’ve reconnected with household and mates again house. I nonetheless journey, however I’ve been looking for a more healthy stability, incorporating extra ‘staycations’ and subsequently alternatives to take longer journeys with extra money saved. I’ve joined an improv group. My romantic life is the one factor I’ve stored off the weblog, however I’m making a {that a} aim to work on that too.
I additionally should not have as a lot to say anymore– that’s, maybe I’ve run out of issues to say. Whereas I’m nonetheless lively on social media, I’ve turn into a way more personal particular person with reference to what I publish (footage, standing updates, and in any other case.) I’m nonetheless keen about politics and social activism, however I’ve tried to include extra of that into my educating, in hopes of reaching younger(er) individuals. My focuses have turn into my job, my wellbeing, and my loved-ones (mockingly, lots of the issues I’d beforehand been operating away from).
I don’t wish to say I’ll be gone without end– I really feel like as quickly as I write one publish, the motivation comes again. On the similar time, I additionally nonetheless have the drive to precise myself, however detest making guarantees I can’t maintain. I’m grateful for this neighborhood– the buddies I’ve made, the individuals I’ve linked with, and the reminiscences I’ll all the time cherish.
So, maintain an eye fixed out– perhaps don’t take away me out of your feed fairly yet- I’m wanting ahead to seeing what 2019 has in retailer. And to these of you who’ve been studying in any case these phrases, and all this time, thanks.
Bisous,
Dana